Last night I had a dream. I led some folks around on a wild foot chase around the neighborhood and then snuck into the office, pretending nothing had happened. To my chagrin, a police officer walked in soon after. Even though I didn’t hurt anyone, someone had slipped and broke their ribs during the run around.
For goodness sake, what’s a more certain sign of aging than having your subconscious punish you for second order effects from your dream-state actions? Maybe its a budding sign of a grown up wisdom?
The book itself is a pretty easy read. It’s a more or less heartwarming collection of stories. Even though your start isn’t as important as it may seem, there are definitely good and bad outcomes at the end.
The main takeaways are to avoid alcohol and smoking, practice good mental acceptance techniques, and create a good network around you. Honestly, this isn’t much different from what everyone tells their kids. Even so, it’s nice to have a few longitudinal studies to lend common sense the authority of science.
Other Takeaways
There were three other key takeaways that I think are worth lifting straight out of the book.
George Valliant identifies six adult life tasks:
- Identity: Finding a sense of one’s self, values, etc., separate from your parents.
- Intimacy: Finding a life partner.
- Career Consolidation: More than a job, this is one’s work.
- Generativity: Guiding the next generation, community building.
- Keeper of Meaning: Conservation and preservation of the culture and institution, beyond individuals.
- Integrity: Facing death and life at the end.
Valliant also lists key “adaptive coping mechanisms” that will help you navigate the vagaries of life. Maladaptive ones are projection, passive aggression, dissociation, acting out and fantasy. There are also mature defenses:
Such virtues include doing as one would be done by (altruism); artistic creation to resolve conflict and spinning straw into gold (sublimation); a stiff upper lip (suppression); and the ability not to take oneself too seriously (humor).
page 64
And finally, Valliant closes his book with a quote from E. B. White, via a valedictory address by Timothy Coggeshall.
Be a true friend.
Do the right thing.
Enjoy the glory of everything.
page 325