GRIZZLY PEAR

written snapshots

Category: Alphabet Magic

  • wolves

    Last summer we visited the Big Bear Zoo. It was HOT! The wolves thought so too.

    There were actually three in the exhibit and on this platform, but I needed two, so I picked this photo. It was a moment of wonder to be half an inch from these majestic animals.

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    Two little fish harass the shark.

    My arms clap like a crocodile—clap! clap! clap!

    Eeeeeeee!—they jump off the boat-bed into the carpet-ocean, only to race back on deck.

    They hide under boxes—he can’t eat a turtle!

    The second they step out, this shark drags them into the deep, black bathroom.

    Clap! Clap! Clap!—I stalk the cook in the kitchen.

    Nooooo! we must rescue Mama!

    —2023

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  • finger

    After months of craziness at work I picked up the pen to draw my hand again. As the pen meandered across the page I was impressed with the magic of marks in 2D turning a white sheet into hint of fleshed out reality.

    At the time I was also one story from finishing Calvino’s Cosmicomics, thanks to M. E. Rothwell ’s encouragement to pick up the book.

    A few weeks later, I picked up a new badge and swiped in at the airport.

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    I forgot lunch at home.
    No matter, I keep sardines in my desk.

    Mama had a bright idea.
    She came to the park near the office.

    They played on the structure in the golden sun.
    I ate my lunch at 4.

    Homeless guys surveyed for cigarette butts.
    One coughed.

    The boy slipped off the steps and cried.
    Blamed his sister.

    We lectured about personal responsibility.
    He moped.

    They drove off to violin class.
    I worked till 8 (these four day weeks run long).

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    —2/20/2025

    Hat tip to Hazel Burgess who encouraged me to try blind contour drawing!

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  • zoom

    The girl grew out of her car seat onto a booster seat.

    Time goes fast!

    As soon as she was in the booster seat, she had another growth spurt, so that’s gone too.

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    Headphones and Piano Bench

    She grabbed my headphones,
    Put it on, pulled out the microphone.

    Dragged the piano bench into the study—
    A newscast.

    Two high back chairs
    And a wooden board to complete the set.

    She interviewed
    Her brother.

    Next morning,
    He filled cups with blocks.

    Juice
    (sorted by color).

    A new café
    On that piano bench.

    As I yammered on,
    Wearing those headphones.

    2021

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  • yacht

    I have a weird work schedule so I sleep in my own bedroom. When my mother in law stayed with us, I moved a mattress into this loft with half of the kids’ books. It’s so cozy that I’m still here.

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    One summer morning in 2021, we played in the five-foot side yard, hiding from the sun’s brutal light.

    We just bounced a red ball back and forth.

    He stood in the middle to intercept the ball.
    She threw it over and around her brother.
    I just tried to keep it from devolving into pure pandemonium.

    In that moment, I realized this was a once in a lifetime event. It was so out of normal, this wasn’t going to be repeated.

    A few minutes later, breakfast was ready.

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  • xyris

    Last May, I finally walked the arroyo in the neighborhood. The gravel gully led to this very concrete channel where plants insist on taking root in every available crack. I now regularly stroll thorough this arroyo, feeling the microseasons. It’s my path of centering.

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    This afternoon we walked a couple loops around the local elementary school. The second time, boy decided to ride his bike. He swept circles through the parking lot, his teal jacket basking in the golden haze of an almost setting sun.

    This is a time of utter chaos that will eventually reach us 2,400 miles out from its epicenter.

    But today was a perfect day.

    As I’ve matured, I’ve realized that we never get to live our dreams (life is much too mundane for our wild imaginations). That’s OK, this dour realization has freed me to savor such fleeting moments.

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  • whump

    The kids placed the darbuka between a Poang chair and its ottoman. The threw an O-ball back and forth, bouncing it off of the drum head.

    That O-ball has been the best baby toy purchase that we’ve ever made.

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    I wrote this last year when we moved into our current home.

    Seventeen years ago I woke up in a 90 sf apartment overlooking an elementary school.

    Now we’re the proud owners of a 2,103 sf house. I can see the local elementary school between the neighbor’s houses.

    It wasn’t that long ago that I shared a toilet, halfway down a flight a stairs.

    Now there’s four of us. We share three toilets. Our kitchen sink is as wide as the whole damn kitchenette.

    It’s weird to wake up in this new reality. I’m not sure what to make of this change, except to be grateful.

    But dammit, I’ll always miss Paris.

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  • vertical

    Earlier in the year, I waited eight weeks for the local Ikea to finally get a shipment of Billy bookcases.

    The particle board smell was so strong that we started with two book cases and let the rest air out in the garage. This start was enough to handle a third of my books.

    A few weeks later, we raised the final three and finally emptied our boxes of books after eleven years!

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    Social media is dangerous. Our puny individual ape brains were not evolved to survive hordes of corporate psychologists. However, there is great value buried in those sites.

    After being on on Instagram for #inktober for two weeks, I am all the more certain that the best way handle a social media website is to decide upon a real-world analogy (to limit your use) and never let it slip out of its prison.

    Here are my personal metaphors for various social media sites.

    • Twitter—Newspaper opinion pages (lurk only—no comments, no hearts)
    • Facebook—Telephone gossip among old friends
    • Linkedin—Awkward business networking event
    • Instagram—Mall of private galleries (I’ve had a rotation of interests, but my current selections are calligraphy, illustration, and airports).
    • Reddit—Collection of old school special interest web-forums (ignore the all-in-one feed on the main page).
    • Substack—The collected newsletters make an Arts and Poetry Magazine, with Notes as an attached web-forum (I avoid hot button topics like politics).
    • Youtube—A giant Fry’s Electronics wall of TV’s. Even though I only lurk the site, this is by far the hardest place to keep in check. I might institute a personal rule to write a sentence about each video I watch (h/t James Hart).
    • Tiktok—Just Say No.

    In these battles against the algorithm, you will be constantly presented with intriguing morsels creeping outside of your proscribed boundaries. Don’t take the bait. You must constantly ignore, mute, and cull your feeds. Big Social is a fine servant but a cruel master.

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  • unordered

    The husband of local architect collects Pokémon cards. When I asked her where to buy a big box of cheap commons, she handed me a pile that I passed onto the kids.

    That became a giant mess on the floor, way past bedtime!

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    I’m learning that cleaning up is a slow necklace of focused moments.

    Each attempt at organizing takes way longer than planned. But if you tackle each clean-up endeavor as a focused chip off a giant boulder, you’ll make a dent over time.

    Last Saturday we finally put up shelves in the garage. Sunday, I threw the mess up on the wall. Admittedly this just made a vertical wreck, but it was nice to see the concrete slab again.

    This morning, I sorted through the stuff, consolidated the boxes, and we now enjoy a tidy garage.

    Onto the house (a small corner at a time)!

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  • tundra


    In winter, we played in the snow as the sun set over the girl’s last afternoon as a 9 year old. With the rains of that week, our usual spot at Mount Charleston (in the valley below the visitor center) was in fresh deep fluff.

    Coincidentally, this week, I’ve been listening to the Fred Frith soundtrack to Rivers and Tides which includes a few scenes of Andy Goldsworthy working in the winter cold. My memory of the sounds from that afternoon have blended with the sounds of that lovely film.

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    After four and a half years, COVID finally found us.

    I got the symptoms first so I rushed off to my in-law’s empty rental house. Too late, the family all came down soon after.

    But inertia took over and I stayed there for a couple of weeks as we recuperated separately.

    One can get a lot done without family responsibilities. I cleaned up the place thoroughly, finally finished T-Zero (fine book, but still a sequel) and The Conference of the Birds (a glorious Sufi poem that I can barely comprehend), created AutoCAD templates for my calligraphy practice, and ate a lot of TV dinners.

    Without kids, the place stayed remarkably clean. Entropy moves slower in the absence of little people. But still, nice to be home again, mess and all.

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  • shelter

    We settled into our new home six months ago and reality intruded on the even the earliest moments everyday magic.

    Here is the boy is looking down as I tidied the garage. A minute later, a yellow pencil poked a hole in the screen.

    And while making our first batch of pancakes, he threw a tantrum after I mixed the batter, after telling me to go ahead and mix without him. Then I got into a tiff with Mama because I burnt the first few pancakes while learning the new stove. (Couples cooking has never been our strong suit.)

    The gods have been gracious, but they always spice things up to keep us in our place.

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    I was given a tour of landside operations at the airport. Since they manage parking and traffic, they have a large team. I asked one of their managers how someones stands out when a promotion is open.

    First, he noted that not everyone is ambitious. He started with an entry level job 25 years ago and some of his colleagues are still in that exact same position.

    Beyond that, he advises every new employee these three simple guides.

    • Be here when you’re supposed to show up.
    • Do what you’re supposed to do.
    • Don’t do what you aren’t supposed to do.

    After that, he said it’s a matter of politics and luck. These factors are out of our hands. For example, he almost got a job with another county agency in 2007. It didn’t work out, but that team experienced massive layoffs during the great recession while the airport avoided layoffs altogether.

    You never know if you’re winning by losing.

    The gods are funny like that.

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