GRIZZLY PEAR

written snapshots

Category: Artifacts

  • Blonde bonobos bounced boorishly, brazenly belching behind brunette beavers belligerently bereaving burst bubbles by beige barbed birches.

    An outline handsketch of a hand shaping the ASL American manual letter “A”, in red ink on a yellow spiral bound steno notebook.
    Pink and blue yoga mats on beige tile, strewn with scrap paper and toilet paper tubes.

    Last week, our daughter designed and built a roller coaster from materials at home. Watching the girl press against her 3rd grade deadline surfaced messy memories of late night college studios.

  • Ten!

    Two kids and a remodel,
    Still together,
    A big anniversary.
    (Another quiet day)

    I worked at the office.
    Rushed to the community center.
    The girl checked out a theater class.
    (The boy quickly lost interest)

    Crossed the street,
    Passed through a skate park,
    The four of us ran around.
    (Inside the bowl)

    At the playground,
    He swung slowly,
    She crossed the monkey bars.
    (I did a couple pull-ups)

    Heading home,
    Watched teens at the skate park.
    Backflips on scooters!
    (Dangerous)

    She cooked a late dinner.
    Penne and sauce,
    Sardines, cucumbers, onions, and artichoke hearts.
    (I stole most of a celebratory soda)

    The kids pressured mom,
    “Make a cake!”
    Too late.
    (9:00)

    They ran off,
    I cleared the table,
    Celebrated again.
    (We split a surreptitious popsicle)

    We outlasted:
    The reception venue (Firefly now Nacho Daddy)
    The wedding venue (Bonnie Springs, demolished)
    The rehearsal dinner venue (HK Star and its many replacements)

    Nothing is guaranteed,
    I’m grateful things have worked out.
    On to the next decade.
    (Hoping for more quiet days)

  • He sculpted a blue playdough figure (with a tail) called the “Girl Stratosphere Tower” (the Statue of Liberty).

    He told momma,
    I found it on the “process shelf“.

    What’s the “process shelf”?

    He pointed at the bathroom countertop.

    Let’s start the process at 8:30.
    It’s 10 o’clock! How come we haven’t started the process yet?
    OK, time to wash up and brush your teeth!

    Now that they’re older,
    Going to bed isn’t a battle.
    But it’s still a process.

    If we let them.
    They’d drag it out
    Process,
    All night long,

    ䷓䷴

    witness

    after
    gloaming

    before
    somnolence

    ablutions

  • They delayed tidying the living room by jumping on the bed and cheerleading their father folding fresh laundry.

    Claire!
    Claire!

    Who’s Claire?
    Oh wait!
    She’s your imaginary friend, right?

    No! She’s our imaginary little sister!

    Charles!
    Charles!

    Who’s Charles?

    He’s our imaginary baby brother!

    Really?
    When did he join the family?
    Last week?

    No! He’s been with us for a year!

    .
    .
    .

    An hour later, I asked my wife if she had met Claire and Charles.

    What are you talking about?!

    ䷺䷓

    apostolic sea
    auspicious foam
    ambitious dissolve

  • Angry aardvarks advertantly abducted an airship at Akita Airport absurdly assuming acerbic albatrosses abducted an adolescent aye aye.

    An outline handsketch of a hand shaping the ASL American manual letter “A”, in red ink on a yellow spiral bound steno notebook.
    A faded pink pillow with a giant tear down the center and exposed stuffing.

    Many years ago, a BoardGameGeek user in Australia asked me to receive several shipments before his arrival in Vegas to attend a friend’s steampunk themed wedding.

    When he came to pick up the games, his wife gave me this pink handmade pillow with chibi Star Wars characters for my newborn daughter.


    Last year, I joined Post.news. The open and accepting crowd inspired me to start drawing again after years of fearful, constipated dormancy.

    I started a series of hand sketches forming the ASL manual alphabet.
    After a few letters I started adding alliterative sentences.
    A month into this exercise, I was forced back into the office.

    Reinserting a commute into my routine was so disruptive that I dropped the project before completing it.

    ~

    A couple weeks ago I also joined Substack Notes. One of the first folks I met was Charlene Storey, who started a weekly ritual to share pictures of “everyday magic”.

    Given my interest in the mundane objects that surround us (I earned my 2003 NaNoWriMo by writing about the stuff in my tiny garage apartment), it’s a perfect way to jump into the new stream.

    ~

    I should finish the alphabet series, but I also like this new weekly thing and I don’t want to wait half a year before archiving these memories.

    So for the next 26 weeks, I’ll be doing a series of unplanned diptychs. Let’s see how it goes.

  • She calmly called out names as he squealed and jumped whenever he caught a pair.

    Cat!
    Moon!
    Gingerbread Man!

    He’ll play Spot It!
    But only as a team with his sister.

    So I flounder, one man chasing four sharp eyes.

    When she was small, I’d slow down,
    Looking for two pairs while she only needed one.
    Even then, those were easy wins.

    Now, I can’t keep up.
    They double me up.

    ~

    I didn’t have preconceptions about parenting.
    Except boardgaming.
    Start ’em young and they’ll love it.

    Nope.
    They enjoy the occasional play, but that’s it.
    Two bookshelves of games hibernate in the garage.

    Maybe as teenagers?
    One can hope!
    But it’s not for me to determine.

  • He jumps on his chair, raises his arms, looks down at us, and hollers “I am taller than all of you!”

    Staying at the in-laws,
    Digging into the closet,
    She finds momma’s old shoes.

    Shiny taupe flats with half inch heels,
    Clomp, clomp, clomp!
    Marching on the tile.

    Her feet are still small,
    But the ankles fill the throats;
    Last year’s gap is gone.

    ䷑䷝

    cross great water
    before three days
    after three days
    twin flames

  • A wonderful failure, Architecture 101, 2001

    I dropped this studio on the last day in class.

    I would have failed anyways.

    I spent my undergrad focused on the arts, not theory, much less jumping into the insanity of A Thousand Plateaus, by Deleuze and Guttari.

    The studio was about the nomad. I picked the Truck Stop as my program and the site was the 16th Street Train Station, at the time completely abandoned.

    Unlike the aborigines’ in Bruce Chatwin’s Song Lines, I stayed completely lost the entire semester.

    I made a video of rubber ducks.
    I visited a port terminal at the Port of Oakland (before 9/11 you could just drive up and ask for a tour).
    I spelunked that Train Station multiple times.
    I drove inland to check out real truck stops.
    I mashed ramen onto a wood board (that didn’t go well).

    One night, my buddy threw a pack of cigarettes on a desk and we spent hours hashing out a grand scheme that looked promising.

    The next morning I reviewed it with my professor. She agreed it was a good start.

    I pulled out my drop papers. She happily signed it to avoid failing me.

    That was my last day of class at UC Berkeley.

    section drawing of a train station with trucks in it, pencil on trace paper

    The main takeaway from the studio was to trust myself.

    Raveevarn Choksombatchai was a brilliant professor who would ask pointed questions every time I met her. As a young designer, I earnestly took in every critique.

    Her pedagogical approach was to be the devil’s advocate. She stress tested my convictions. That would be a fun studio nowadays, but I wasn’t ready.

    Her challenges convinced me to reassess everything every time. Starting over twice a week is a great way to get nowhere.

    I’ve since realized that the grand concept is only the seed of a project. Part of the designer’s job is to say “fuck it, good enough, move on”.

    There are plenty of problems at that next scale. Architecture is more than a conceptual art; it’s also a craft. Design challenges will confront you at every level along the way.

    Don’t let (yourself or someone else) stop you at gestalt.

    plan drawing of a train station with trucks in it, pencil on trace paper

    I’ve gone in quite a different direction from those high concept Berkeley days. Indeed, I don’t design. In the past five years, I’ve done four sketches, my last one locating one door in a short corridor.

    But the lesson of this failed studio still lingers.

    Not a painful barb, but a gentle reminder to trust myself.

    My ideas aren’t perfect, but I know they’re good enough for taking that next step — cause analysis paralysis is so much worse.

    I don’t think you can ask for a more impactful lesson coming out of college.

    elevation drawing mixed with a pencil trace of interior photographs pencil on bond printout
  • As this household transitions to English around the dinner table, each high stakes polysyllabic word is enunciated with detail.

    你再下来就没有snacks!
    (Come down (from the table) again, then no snacks!)

    Poo-poo!
    (he just came back from trying to poop, unsuccessfully)

    真的? 这次没有大便也没有snacks!
    (Really? If you don’t poo this time, then no snacks!)

    Oh! 我说了 acc-i-dent-a-ly.
    (
    Oh! I said it accidentally.)

  • The Tracks, 2000

    I snuck out of Berkeley with an architecture degree even though I only completed one architecture studio (while dropping out of a second architecture studio, taking three visual studies studios and one landscape architecture studio).

    The landscape studio consisted of a series of quick projects, including this exploration of remediating an abandoned rail line using plants to pull heavy chemicals out of the soil.

    It seemed fitting to share this long buried project for Earth Day.

    This studio was as much an art studio as a design studio, which isn’t a surprise when you check out Professor Chip Sullivan. This piece was an homage to old science fair presentations, with infographics and drawings, using oil pastels and ink.

    With the re-discovery of my old fountain pen late last year, I am now finally finishing the very last of that red ink, twenty three years later.

    Over a cup of coffee, my friend defined a group of design students who are basically art majors. There is much appeal to straddling both worlds. What can be better than savoring a creation with no “ifs” about how it might actually be in “real life”? To make is the most primal human activity. Yet “to make” also encompasses “to imagine”. To think a drawing represents a viable space 57,600 times its size, to believe “these” certain lines will best direct the movement of hundreds of people over the next fifty years — that demands imagination. A design education challenges and refines raw imagination. For those who cannot rise above the flatland of pure art or refuse to descend from a theoretical ivory tower, let them remain trapped. While the opportunity remains, I will precariously attempt to scale both worlds high on caffeine.

    It’s a bit cringe to read what you wrote as a 20 year old.

    ~

    Hindu thought includes a roadmap of life with four stages. These college drawings were the climax of my work as a Student.

    In their system, I should be wrapping up my time as a Householder, but I’ve got another fifteen years before Retirement (I doubt the ancient system expected folks to be making babies in their late thirties…or Social Security age limits).

    Even though I might be late on the ancient Hindu time schedule, I’ve noticed that my attitude has changed towards work in the past eighteen months. I’ve lost appetite for business books. I still think about my role as a project manager, but I no longer study “leadership”. I work a hard 40 hours, but I’m not turning that dial up to 11.

    I wonder if that next stage in life will be in letters, as with my little library, or if it will be a return to making art.

    If it’s the latter, I need to make some space to get messy. It’s been much too long since I’ve gotten my hands dirty.