GRIZZLY PEAR

written snapshots

Category: Artifacts

  • shelter

    We settled into our new home six months ago and reality intruded on the even the earliest moments everyday magic.

    Here is the boy is looking down as I tidied the garage. A minute later, a yellow pencil poked a hole in the screen.

    And while making our first batch of pancakes, he threw a tantrum after I mixed the batter, after telling me to go ahead and mix without him. Then I got into a tiff with Mama because I burnt the first few pancakes while learning the new stove. (Couples cooking has never been our strong suit.)

    The gods have been gracious, but they always spice things up to keep us in our place.

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    I was given a tour of landside operations at the airport. Since they manage parking and traffic, they have a large team. I asked one of their managers how someones stands out when a promotion is open.

    First, he noted that not everyone is ambitious. He started with an entry level job 25 years ago and some of his colleagues are still in that exact same position.

    Beyond that, he advises every new employee these three simple guides.

    • Be here when you’re supposed to show up.
    • Do what you’re supposed to do.
    • Don’t do what you aren’t supposed to do.

    After that, he said it’s a matter of politics and luck. These factors are out of our hands. For example, he almost got a job with another county agency in 2007. It didn’t work out, but that team experienced massive layoffs during the great recession while the airport avoided layoffs altogether.

    You never know if you’re winning by losing.

    The gods are funny like that.

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  • relocate

    This kitchen table continues to serve us over twenty years through six abodes.

    This afternoon, we thoroughly cleaned up lunch (cod, broccoli, and rice).

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    It’s been four months since I posted the letter “Q”.

    These hand sketches were photographed last year, so it’s just a matter of tidying the images and writing a little journal entry to mark the passage of time.

    I started the year hoping to catch up on the backlog—let things go, either out to the wild or into the private archives.

    Hopefully I now have the mental space to do this work.1

    Of course, there is a fresh set of sketches to scan. And tiny poems . And those zines that I slammed together twenty months ago.

    One step at a time.

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    1. To repeat myself: if you’re unsure about staying at your current job, it’s time to leave. ↩︎

  • Vegas Ordinary, July 2024

    In early May, this daily practice sprung up at a delicate moment. I so busy at work that I had no mental space to practice anything creative, especially with a looming job switch.

    But I made time to post a simple photo every day.

    This practice kept me afloat amidst the during a season of change. It’s now time to sunset this three month project to make time for other pursuits. Thanks to everyone who supported this little creative life raft on Substack Notes. Your likes and comments helped me persevere, turning a stray notion into a project of seeing (and framing) the mundane.

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    Carpet.

    7/1

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    Ceiling.

    7/2

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    Wrap.

    7/2

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    Checkout.

    7/3

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    Cereal

    7/4

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    Flowers

    7/4

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    Angles

    7/5

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    Dinner.

    7/6

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    Cabinets.

    7/7

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    Reflect.

    7/8

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    Can.

    7/9

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    Cloud.

    7/10

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    Legs.

    7/11

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    Up.

    7/12

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    Plate.

    7/13

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    Wall.

    7/14

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    Twenty-five.

    7/15

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    Telephone.

    7/16

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    Games.

    7/17

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    Mail.

    7/18

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    Cookie.

    7/19

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    Science.

    7/20

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    Snowman.

    7/21

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    Diamonds.

    7/22

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    Phonics.

    7/23

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    Blue.

    7/24

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    Aggregate.

    7/25

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    Smoke.

    7/26

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    Elbow.

    7/27

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    Retail.

    7/27

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    Feet.

    7/28

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    Gap.

    7/29

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    So what’s next? A couple of months ago, I came up with the idea of 1P+1P (one project, one practice).

    Unfortunately, life is complicated. So I’ve changed it to 2(P+P)—two practices and projects (a creative and practical endeavour for each).

    For my Projects, I’m returning to my 2024 theme of “Settling up”. For creative, it’s time to tackle the Grizzlypear backlog (200+ drafts!). And for home, we need to fully settle into our “new” house (six months after moving in!).

    As for Practices, I need to start exercising and I’d like to work on my calligraphy. I’ve hit that inevitable point in this new hobby where it’s time to grind down to reach the next plateau. Maybe I’ll eventually give up, but I want to put in a solid effort before deciding that the next level of proficiency isn’t worth the time.

    Hopefully this dual track approach provides a better balance of fun and responsibility. We’ll see!

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  • Vegas Ordinary, June 2024

    Life has slowed down (in a good way) after changing jobs. For example, I’m posting this collection on July 7th, while I didn’t get around to uploading the previous month’s compilation till June 19th, a week after I started at the new job.

    As for this Project, I got one more month before I move on to something else. Follow me on Substack Notes if you want to see these photos in real time. Or just wait for the final compilation in late August after we come back from our not-Vegas vacation.

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    Type.

    6/1

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    Mess.

    6/2

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    Laundry.

    6/3

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    Corner.

    6/4

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    Cafe.

    6/5

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    Notes.

    6/6

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    Cubicle.

    6/7

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    Blankets.

    6/8

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    Artichokes.

    6/9

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    Airport.

    6/10

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    P.

    6/11

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    Strawberry.

    6/12

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    Foam.

    6/13

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    Muse.

    6/13

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    Legs.

    6/14

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    Empty.

    6/15

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    Draw.

    6/16

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    Conduit.

    6/17

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    Cinema.

    6/18

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    Tails.

    6/18

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    Panel.

    6/19

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    Solstice.

    6/20

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    Grain.

    6/21

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    Laureate.

    6/22

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    Office.

    6/22

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    Desktop.

    6/24

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    Curtain.

    6/25

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    Goodbye.

    6/26

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    Liftoff.

    6/26

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    Keys.

    6/29

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    Straggler.

    6/29

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    Bed.

    6/30

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    Next week will be the first time that I actually work a full forty hours for the airport. In the past four weeks, I’ve had two days of County Orientation, Juneteenth, a day of Airport Orientation, and Independence Day. Three full days of orientation is a bit of overkill, but it was better than 90 minutes of signing forms and learning the rest by asking random coworkers.

    One thing that stood out at the Airport orientation was lunch with senior managers. It was a nice show of solidarity that they would come down and join us for a meal and introduce themselves. Then again, maybe I won’t want them to remember my name after I start to ruin their work lives with the Terminal renovation!

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  • Created with Human Intelligence (HiBadge 2024)

    In June, 

    Introvert Drawing Club posted a badge that caught fire, cause we’re sick of the cheap plagiaristic garbage being shoved in our faces online.

    This morning, Beth Spencer posted a note that she was only 53 badges from 1k.

    Let’s make that 52!

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    The image was hand drawn with fountain pens in and edited in Pixlr. This morning I added the text as a markup on my iPhone, with the PNG export done in Pixlr after deleting the white background. You can see the badge in action on my photo on the about page.

    If it looks familiar, it’s because I made the original image last year in a post about alternatives to AI artThere is so much great free art made by real people, why would anyone outsource our visual world to thieving machines?

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    Bonus! I originally wrote the badge with “Made”. Since it’s not doing any good by itself on the computer, here it is if you’d prefer this wording.

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    Check out the IG page for all the other #HiBadge2024.

    Happy drawing!

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  • Vegas Ordinary, May 2024

    Things have been so busy that I can’t focus on anything outside of work.

    So I picked up a daily practice that can be instantly completed at any time since we are tethered to pocket computer cameras at all waking (and sleeping) hours.

    The title of this project is inspired by Shimzu Akira’s fun newsletter JAPAN ORDINARY.

    I’m not sure how long to keep it up, but it will run at least through June. It’s been a fun way to record the change of scenery at my new job.

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    Puzzle.

    5/4

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    Lavatory.

    5/5

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    Morning.

    5/6

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    Desk.

    5/7

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    Read.

    5/8

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    Durango.

    5/9

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    Yard.

    5/10

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    Stairs.

    5/11

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    Mouse.

    5/12

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    Boxes.

    5/13

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    Dishes.

    5/14

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    Strip.

    5/15

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    Graduation.

    5/16

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    Shadow.

    5/17

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    Trash.

    5/18

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    Park.

    5/19

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    Drugs.

    5/21

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    Logistics.

    5/22

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    Summer.

    5/24

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    Panels.

    5/25

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    Knot.

    5/26

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    Nuts.

    5/27

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    Fluorescent.

    5/28

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    Dishwasher.

    5/29

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    Flower.

    5/31

    Door.

    5/31

    Basin.

    5/31

    Concrete.

    5/31

    Up.

    5/31

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    While contemplating my birthday in May, I realized that my piles of projects and want-to-do lists keep growing as my time continues to shrink.

    To balance the desire to start new projects, I need to close out old projects. (Ironic to write this on a post showcasing a new photography series!).

    So I’ve created a new limitation – one Practice and one Project at a time.

    1P-1P
    顽皮-顽皮

    “naughty naughty”
    (also the nickname of my parents’ neighbor’s cat who chills in their house all day)

    Practices could be something like taking a photo every day, playing the banjo, practicing calligraphy, writing poetry, or sketching my hand.

    Projects are specific endeavors, like finishging my Alphabet Magic series or planning our summer vacation.

    We’ll see if it helps wrangle the fuzz in my brain.

    Even so, June has turned out another whirlwind. See y’all in July!

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    (Unless you follow me on Substack Notes…then you can get my next Vegas Ordinary as soon as tomorrow!)

  • Book Notes, April, May 2024

    Now that we’ve finally put our books up on shelves after a decade in the garage, I pull random old books to enjoy before bedtime. The bedroom is getting crowded with a pile that needs to go back downstairs.

    Here are some notes before sending them back into the stacks.

    Staying by the bed

    Baron in the Trees, Italo Calvino—I’m still slowly working through this book. I paused to read Cosmicomics and might get distracted by T-zero but I want to finish it sooner rather than later.

    Letter on Ethics, Seneca—I enjoyed listening to the selected letters audiobook by Penguin so I picked up the complete letters translated by Margaret Graver last year. I finally started reading them; I’m enchanted by their brevity even though (spoiler warning) the later letters seem to run long.

    The Unbroken Web, Richard Adams—This collection of stories has that pan-religious vibe from the 70/80’s. I most likely would have sent this back onto the shelves but I wrapped it up as a self-birthday present so I might as well give it a solid try in June.

    Carlo Scarpa, The Complete WorksI borrowed this volum many times in college so I finally bought it as a birthday treat. In the past, I only looked at the images, but after spending 100 euros, I’m for damn sure reading the essays. Good lord, that’s some turgid writing. Architecture criticism at its finest.

    Going back up

    Cosmicomics, Italo Calvino—I’ve tried reading this many times over the years and finally broke through. It’s a tender collection of short stories based on scientific principles. I wonder if aging and kids have given me an appreciation for love stories.

    Zhuangzi (Burton) & Lieh-tzu (Graham)Always good to revisit two of the key texts of Daoism.

    Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess—The boy was curious about chess so we played a few times. I pulled this book of the shelves because I find chess utterly impenetrable. I’ve never been good at with spatial games, much less a perfect information abstract. I slogged through a couple exercises before giving up even though I’m still enchanted by the structure of this book.

    The 26 Letters, Oscar Ogg—Delightfully of its time though I wonder how it holds up with the historical scholarship over the past sixty years.

    40 days dans le desert B, Moebius—Absolute classic. Trippy as fuck.

    The Ode Less Travelled, Stephen Fry—I borrowed this book from the library when I thought I’d take my poetry experiments more seriously. Instead, work took over my life. In stressful times, the pursuit of quality may have the paradoxical side effect of stifling production. Time to send it back to the public library.

    Under the Jaguar Sun, Italo Calvino—I was searching for something to calm the mind, but this was a bit too intense. Turned out that my subconscious was close, since the correct answer was Cosmicomics.

    Journey to the West (Yu)Always good for a romp Great Sage Under Heaven. Plus a little poetry.

    Charles M. Russell—Nice overview of the artist’s work. Holy hell, the wild west was indeed wild. Life of all types was cheap back then.

    Signal to Noise, Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean—The art holds up. The writing is what you’d expect from a 30 year old writing about a protagonist twice his age. I loved Gaiman, but I’ve soured over the past few years. One day I’ll revisit Sandman, but I’m dreading the potential realization that I’ve outgrown this as well.

    Giovanni Battista PiranesiA collection of his prints. If drawn accurately, the scale of the ruins are unimaginable, towering over the inglorious lives conducted under these decaying edifices. Quite unsafe to stay in those shadows, though I guess you’ll take what you can get in the heat of summer. Beyond antiquity though, his renderings are sick. Beyond rad.

    Carlo Scarpa—In college, I picked up this Taschen survey on the (relative) cheap. It’s a passable intro to his work, though with the obnoxious style repeating text with multiple languages on each page. Then again, it reminded me of the greatness of Scarpa which lead to my big birthday purchase (noted above).
     

  • quill

    In January, I wrote a letter to a colleague who is rejoining to our team. Selfishly, I’m excited that she returned.

    This was my first tiny poem-calligraphies to leave the house. It was also one of the last ones that I wrote.

    It’s been a long 2024, and we haven’t even started the biennial budgeting season—that hits tomorrow.

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    Unfortunately, my publication schedule will continue to be sporadic. After we get our budget season assignments, it’s off to the races through June.

    Beyond the increasing workload, it has been a tumultuous time for our team. Hopefully things will settle down, but it’s not surprising that my Commute Music project has stalled on Black Sabbath and Blue Oyster Cult over the past month.

    I just started moving again with Blue Mitchell. Yes, I’m slightly out of alphabetical order. It was a necessary fudge.

    Hopefully I’ll get another post out in May, and then June, but frankly it’s been all about work for the past quarter. I’ve already told my supervisor that I’ll try to keep up the pace up through July 1st, but after that it stops. (He’s the best boss I’ve had, but we’re all going through it together). Maybe I’ll breathe again.

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  • plumbing

    When buying the house we agreed to address a few minor plumbing issues. Easy enough to do during the negotiations, but the work still had to be done. We changed the innards for two of our toilets, switched faucet stems, and installed a new kitchen sink with our own RO filter.

    That sink took three days, five trips to Home Depot, and a couple angle stops.

    Yes, hiring a plumber would have been more sensible but I learned stuff and enjoyed the challenge (aside from multiple trips to the hardware store!)

    Shoutout to YouTube…there’s no way I would have started this project without all those tutorials. That site is the greatest DIY reference library ever assembled. It has so many videos for every task, with a myriad of angles and opinions.

    I hope more folks make use of this empowering free resource. Simple repairs are one of the easiest ways to earn a feeling of accomplishment on a weekend afternoon.

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    David Auerbach, Carols in the Caves

    • The sound engineers tried to capture the essence in being a massive cave, but the whole album sounded distant. Everything felt flat.
    • This might be a good holiday background album, but does not have presence as the central audio feature for a drive.
    • The album cover looks great.

    Babyland, You Suck Crap

    • Last week, I complained about noise. This one is all about noise, but I had fun.
    • Sampling a multitude of instruments (and implements) gave the audio palate an enjoyable richness. I suspect growing up with electronica and hip-hop makes me prefer variety when getting bashed over the head.
    • I wish I had detailed memories of attending that concert with my landscaper colleague. Sadly, I just don’t remember much from such events. A few visual flashes and a plastic disc is all I have from 20 years ago.

    Elevate, The Architect

    • While looking up this album last week, I learned about the genre “Math Rock“. I had to give it a second shot now that I know “It is characterized by complex, atypical rhythmic structures (including irregular stopping and starting), counterpoint, odd time signatures, and extended chords.”
    • Still very noisy. Most likely still not my thing, but the architectural cover makes a lot more sense with the music behind it.
    • Am I enjoying this album more because I’m now aware that it’s supposed to be sophisticated? Is the emperor clothed or nekkid?

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  • Keep making mistakes!

    I’ve mentioned it before but thought this is worth repeating. I’m no fan of AI, but it’s appearance has unlocked my acceptance of imperfection.

    It wasn’t a coincidence that I started drawing after two dormant decades after Dall-E and Midjourney hit the mainstream in 2022.

    Before this happened, I would have guessed that generative AI images would finally smothered the last embers of my interest in drawing.

    Instead, I was freed from the self induced constipation of accuracy. I picked up the pen and started laying ink on paper again.

    They’re rough. There’s no undo button. No edit function. All you can do is start over, again. Try not to mess it all up with the last few lines on the page.

    These aren’t perfect, but I can vouch for their provenance. My hand was there when each molecule of dye nestled into the fibers of these pages.

    Here’s to many experiments in this year of the Dragon!
     

    I wasn’t super happy with the purple, but it was “good enough”…until I messed up the last two letters of this page. Lettering in ink demands full attention. The simplest mistake can be catastrophic.
    This was on a good track, and then I got cute with his beard and ruined the dragon. Again, the last thing killed the whole page.
    At this point, I didn’t even try to outline the dragon. I didn’t have energy to try a fourth time. I kind of like how the dragon is a bit atmospheric on the page…but that might be a total rationalization for wimping out.