Category: Photos

I landed in the hospital with an abscess in my liver, which revealed itself by a relentless fever with soul sucking fatigue.

The first days in the hospital continued to be a haze of fever and fatigue, though greatly relieved with the interventions by the nurses and doctors.

I was initially diagnosed with an ominous “growth in the liver” at the ER. Fortunately this ambiguity was resolved in a couple of days with an MRI, it was “just” a bacterial abscess in the liver.

I felt the full force of our health care technological complex, with ultrasound, CT scan, MRI, endoscopic ultrasound, and finally draining the abscess by an interventional radiologist, who used ultrasounds and x-rays to pinpoint and pierce the mass. And that doesn’t include all the other everyday hospital technologies that the nurses utilized throughout the week.

Midway, I was transferred from a single room at the fifth floor to a double room in one of the oldest remaining wards. It was fun to explore this architectural relic. The air conditioning and roommate made it feel like riding an airplane.

Golden hour never fails. This new room had a streetside view of a residential subdivision. I wonder what it’s like to live in the shadow of the city’s major medical center. I guess you stop hearing the sirens.

As soon as the labs on my liver goop was completed, the doctors updated my prescription and sent me home that evening. My parents, who visited every day, came back to pick me up. I was happy to come home to the kids, but it was a sudden transition back into civilian life.

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Yeah, that was one long week. The fever started right after Labor Day, and a two days later I was in the ER digesting the news that there was a growth in my liver. Thankfully, an MRI clarified that it was “just” a golf ball sized bacterial abscess.

As for cause. The official explanation is dumb luck—a stray bacteria snuck out of the gut and wreaked shop in the liver. Overworking might have made things worse, but other people work much harder and longer with minimal consequences. Then again I’m not other people.

I’m on the mend, popping antibiotics, swimming in serious night sweats, and there’s still that a drain line…but I gladly take this over the specter of the C-word.

As painful as it has been, this was a clarifying event in my mid-forties with some takeaways:

1. My personal priority rank is Family > Health >>>> Work > Calligraphy > Reading >> Blogging >>>>>> YouTube (this last one is tough!).
2. Due to various reasons, Work had snuck in front of Health. No more.
3. Until I adopt a consistent health practice, I will not to pursue a promotion. I may even start going back to my old Tai Chi school, even if the kids continue to show no interest in martial arts.
4. As much as I love my calligraphy as a meditative practice, it doesn’t pay bills and it doesn’t improve my health. I need to “pay myself first” in the morning with exercise and move the pen if I still have time. If I miss morning exercise before dropping the girl off at school, I might walk some laps around park near the office. My work is flexible and I’ll just start late.
5. I didn’t regret anything up to this point. It would have been nice to take more trips abroad as a broke college student, but that’s an ancient regret, colored by the fact that I now have savings, which was not in my portfolio during the great recession.
6. We’ll see how the bills line up, but if I read the documents correctly, the cost of the hospital stay may be laughably small for an American. If so, I might keep working to maintain this awesome county employee health insurance thru 65 (instead of 62 as allowed by the pension). Of course this is predicated on still enjoying the job.
7. Moving forward, I’ll be both looser and tighter with money. I have a habit of buying books on the thought I’ll read them one day. When mortality strikes, buying “on spec” stinks of hubris. However, if I think I might enjoy something right now, I’m not gonna wait.
8. Investment wise, no changes planned. My wife and I have always been conservative, and it was comforting to know that I wouldn’t need to make any tweaks to the portfolio, even with an extended career disruption.
9. We have a slew of papers that need to be executed (advance directives, wills, homestead exemption). Once I’m well, those will be the top priority for our home economics. Second in priority is getting my wife fluid through the morass of retirement and investment accounts.

Interestingly, I intuitively knew each bullet point (except #6) before this chaos in September. So nothing has changed, just the universe reminding me, emphatically, to get it done!

Funny how things work, hopefully y’all not need such an incident to finish what you already know needs to be handled.

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