GRIZZLY PEAR

written snapshots

Category: Notes

  • 6 to 5, Early Bright, Seamus Egan

    Three years ago, the pandemic landed on our shores.

    We were living with our in-laws, but the tenant in their rental house had just left. That gave me a place exile myself since I was still going to the office before the shutdowns were announced.

    Even after the shutdowns, I was still conducting a variety of site visits between construction projects and budgeting investigations. So I spent a long spring as a bachelor, until work slowed down and I stopped running around town.

    It was a trying time (we celebrated my boy’s second birthday in the backyard) but it was also a cushy middle class sacrifice that pales in comparison to the loss that so many others experienced.

    During those long days as a loner, I would take a 40 minute walk every morning, listening to this CD by Seamus Egan, which he has now released as a live performance on Youtube.

  • War Pigs

    This time last year, I was listening to “War Pigs” on repeat.

    It’s depressing that it’s still relevant for the foreseeable future.

    The video is perfect. No need to embellish Ruthie Foster’s powerful performance of this Black Sabbath classic.

  • Oliver Burkeman explores Imposter Syndrome

    After reading Burkeman’s excellent 4000 Hours, I borrowed this cheeky little BBC radio series “The Power of Negative Thinking” on Overdrive/Libby.

    Strangely, the last half hour is a non-sequitur program about “Imposter Syndrome”.

    To be honest, I’ve never really struggled with Imposter Syndrome. I’ve always had a good knack about my own skills and strengths and never felt the need to hide my vulnerabilities.

    Such openness might have cost me some opportunities, but it also saved me from a lot of stress. If someone hired me, I always felt, “I’ve been honest about what I can provide, so if it goes wrong, they shoulder much of the blame for picking me.”

    But Imposter Syndrome seems to be a real issue for a lot of folks, and I suspect this is a great piece for someone who suffers from it.

    The first hour about negative thinking is fun, so in all, it’s worth the hour and a half if you can find it at your library.

  • Viva Las Vegas! Elvis

    The flip side of leaving Houston ten years ago is arriving in Las Vegas ten years ago.

    Gotta celebrate that with the King, though Ann-Margaret completely owns this scene, shot in the old UNLV gymnasium, now the Marjorie Barrick Museum of Art.

  • I Got that Drank, Frayser Boy

    We spent our last night in Houston a decade ago on 2/13/2013.

    The apartment was packed up and we’d head out for Las Vegas on Valentines Day.

    In honor of our years H-town, here is a ridiculous song that captures the brashness of that energetic city in all its problematic glory.

    We miss it.

    After a long delay from a busted tire on the car trailer the next day, we’d enjoy our most memorable Valentines Dinner eating packaged salad on the parking lot at Buc-ee’s in San Antonio (as in sitting on the concrete tarmac and eating our meal, cause they didn’t have picnic tables at the truck stop).

  • From the Diary of a Fly, Bartok

    Stephen Malinowski is one of our favorites.

    And this is our boy’s favorite.

  • Unsquare Dance

    By Dave Brubeck, played by the Lincoln Center Orchestra with Wynton Marsalis.

  • Rabbit in Your Headlights, UNKLE

    In college I was cast in a modern dance piece that included this song and Dave Brubeck’s “Unsquare Dance”. 

    (I had no business performing, but males were in short supply.)

    A few years later came YouTube and the realization that this song was paired with a great video.

  • Movie Roundup, January 2023 to June 2022

    I’ve fallen behind, so let’s declare amnesty and just power through the past half year in reverse chronological order.

    Bambi, Algar, Armstrong, Hand, 1942
    OMG the animation is mind-blowingly gorgeous. The oil painted backgrounds are luscious and the hand animation holds up against anything you see today. It’s a natural outgrowth of the work the studio did in Fantasia. We watched it on Saturday and I could watch it again tomorrow.

    The Muppet Christmas Carol, Brian Henson, 1992
    Another classic on Disney+. This one’s status is dependent on the original story and time of the year. I gotta wonder what Michael Caine was thinking about his career as a A-list actor playing with dolls. Did he take in good fun?

    Zootopia, Howard, Moore, Bush, 2016
    Was fun when we watched it a few years ago, and fun again. The kids really enjoyed it too. Not a masterpiece like Bambi, but certainly in the top third of Disney’s esteemed catalog.

    Luck, Holmes, Abad, 2022
    The only reason I watched it was because Lasseter was involved. He might have been good in his heyday, but it’s obvious he needed the Pixar team more than they needed him. The story was drawn out and the animation awkward. Absolute mediocrity at best.

    Wolfwalkers, Moore & Stewart, 2020
    Lovely film to round out the trilogy with Secret of the Kells and Song of the Seas. A welcome respite from the Pixar-Disney-Dreamworks 3D hegemony.

    Home Alone, Chris Columbus, 1990
    Fun. I didn’t watch it until just a few years ago. I’ve always had something against rambunctious brats (I didn’t get into Calvin and Hobbes until I realized the peerless quality of the Watterson’s drawings). I could see this movie becoming a holiday staple until the kids are old enough to watch Tokyo Godfathers.

    Toy Story 4, Josh Cooley, 2019
    Pixar knows what their doing, even if I’m not totally sold on Bo Peep becoming an action hero.

    Toy Story 3, Lee Unkrich, 2010
    A fun caper. Slightly better than Toy Story 2, but the original still holds the crown in my heart, in spite of the dated graphics.

    Frankenweenie, Tim Burton, 2012.
    It’s OK as a stop motion full length movie. Maybe I didn’t enjoy it as much because we weren’t expecting a black and white film. I should watch the original half-hour show. I wonder if brevity might have shaped a better story.

    Encanto, Bush, Howard, Smith, 2021
    It was such a big deal the year before. After getting a Disney+ account we had to watch it. It’s fine. I enjoyed the wacky song and dance numbers but the movie just ran too darn long. Then again, they all drag out nowadays.

    Kung Fu Panda (1-3), Osborne & Stevenson, 2008, Jennifer Yuh Nelson, 2011, Carloni & Nelson, 2016
    Fun popcorn series. I can’t remember a ton from any given movie but I’ve watched each of these films at least twice and wouldn’t argue against watching them again. My wife isn’t fond of the chop suey orientalism, but I’m inured to it.

    Kung Fu Panda: The Dragon Knight, season 1, 2022
    Awful TV show, but the kids liked it. My wife didn’t even bother to watch this.

    Lucifer (ep 1 and 2), Tom Kapinos, 2016
    The first couple episodes were fun, but I wasn’t going to invest hours of my life on this show.

    Love Death + Robots (seasons 1-3), Tim Miller, 2019-2022
    I love animation. This series fulfilled every bit of it’s promise. Each short is a banger so it’s hard to pick favorites. But to name four: “Sonnie’s Edge”, “Zima Blue”, “The Very Pulse of the Machine”, and “Jibaro”. I may have to re-up with Netflix when season 4 comes out.

    Arcane, Pascal Charrue & Arnaud Delord, 2021
    I finally got around to watching it long after the buzz from it’s release. It’s great. Didn’t realize that a video game company could produce such a good story. The fight at the end of Episode 7 of is one of the best fight scenes I’ve ever watched. Even though the nine episode series kind of runs out of steam at the end, I still spent the week after watching Arcane commentary on YouTube to process the journey.

  • January 2023 Book Update

    In 2020, I decided to purchase “only” twelve books. I cheated with a few caveats and provisos, but I’ve been decent at limiting my purchases in the past three years.

    It helps that my desire to own physical books has diminished after discovering ebooks and audiobooks on Libby/Overdrive, even though I’m now buying physical copies of books that I really enjoy!

    Before I step into one last “new-normal”, returning to the office tomorrow morning, I thought I should finally publish this long brewing update of my book purchases and share my wall of shame from the past three years. As always, I’m quite bad at predicting what “future Justus” will want to read.

    (No kidding, look at the boxes of books in the garage while we pretend to look for a permanent house).

    2020, Unread

    1. Krazy Kat (1916-1918), George Herriman. This series is legendary and I’m debating whether to collect the entire set. I got the first one, but I haven’t cracked it open in the past three(!) years! Eek.
    2. The Art of Happiness, Epicurus, George K. Strodach. I was curious about his philosophy, but Epicurus turned out to be heavily focused on his speculations concerning physical physics. I quickly lost interest. I might power through the rest of the book at some point, just to get the feather in the cap.
    3. Growing Food in a Drier Hotter Land, Gary Nabhan. I was absolutely smitten by his first book The Desert Smells like Rain, which I discovered via an environmental literature course syllabus. Purchased as part of a big Chelsea Green Publishing House sale.
    4. Being Salmon, Being Human, Martin Lee Mueller. The premise sounds interesting and I hope to read this eventually though in spite of my recent turn towards ancient wisdom literature. This was on deep discount as part of a big Chelsea Green Publishing House sale.

    2021, Unread

    1. The Ultimate Micro-RPG Book, James D’Amato. I haven’t done anything with this book beyond wrapping it up as an extra birthday present for my daughter.
    2. Zhuangzi (inner chapters), Burton Watson. This is universally acclaimed as a translation and I didn’t want to read this on the phone.
    3. Seven Military Classics of Ancient China, Ralph D. Sawyer. This is a hefty book! I wanted the breadth of classical thought on this matter and by golly I got it. Now I need to read it.
    4. The Art of War, John Minford. I didn’t realize that I had already listened to this book on tape. Then again, it’s hard to go wrong with a spare copy of Sunzi.
    5. Tao Te Ching, Laozi, John Minford. I read half of this book before being forced to return it to the library. I liked the extensive commentary so I decided to get my own copy.
    6. I Ching, John Minford. I liked Minford so much as a translator on his other two works that I decided to start my I Ching journey with his translation.
    7. I Ching, Helmut Wilhelm / Cary Baynes. This is the classic that made it a fad in the the artsy circles in the mid-20th century. Since it was good enough for Merce Cunningham and John Cage, I felt I should get my own hardcopy.
    8. I Ching, Richard Lynn. This translation is well regarded, especially in a favorable review SJ Marshall of Biroco.com, calling it the yin to the yang of the Wilhelm/Baynes translation. Given my big kick, I thought it was worth investing a slot to check it out.
    9. China, Hiroji Kubota. His Portrait of America was so good, I had to see how he handled China just as the nation started its stratospheric ascent into becoming a superpower. I also thought it would be good for the kids to see what China was when their mom was born.
    10. Out of the East, Hiroji Kubota. This was a snap Amazon algorithm purchase. I fear this may be a lesser work, since the price was so low, but I liked Kubota enough to take a flier on it.

    2022, Baker’s Dozen

    1. Pearls Awaits the Tide, Stephan Pastis. When Pearls publishes, I buy.
    2. Sixty-Four Chance Pieces, Will Buckingham. He wrote a great article about the I Ching, and as a fellow fan of Calvino, I’m curious to read his work. However, I’m going to wait till I’ve caught up to the calendar and see if I’m still into the I Ching before making such a purchase (same goes for Changing, a book of I Ching related poetry Richard Berengarten).
    3. Explore TIPS: A Practical Guide to Investing in Treasury Inflation-Protected Securities, Harry Sit. When I started investing, I thought TIPS might be a magic way out of worrying about how to allocate our savings. No such luck, it’s basically another form of cash.
    4. Value Averaging, Michael Edelson. More technical than for my needs. I guess it was good to see how deep the optimization could go. And then ignore it cause I got better things to do with my time.
    5. V is for Vulnerable: Life Outside the Comfort Zone, Seth Godin.
    6. Local News, poems by Sonja Marqulies. I was looking for another book by the same title, but her life story is intriguing and I was getting into poetry. It’s enjoyable, better than anything I could write, but it didn’t slap me with it’s greatness like the works more famous authors. Or maybe it’s just my subconscious big-name bias.
    7. 5000 B.C. and other Philosophical Fantasies, Raymond Smullyan. I’ve hit my limits on philosophy with this book. It’s gets more technical than I can handle. Though maybe I’ll add his chapter of quick hits to the “Little Library” (see below)
    8. Castle of Crossed Destinies, Italo Calvino. I think I’ll pickup the the Visconti and Grimaud Marseilles tarot decks to go with the book.
    9. Haiku, Richard Wright. I’ve known of this book for years but waited on finishing Kerouac’s collection of American Pops, before picking this up.
    10. The Couple’s Tao Te Ching, William Martin. To my credit, I read it. It’s good. Not great. Still very good.
    11. The Parent’s Tao Te Ching, William Martin. I finished reading this (again) as well. It’s very good too, better than the Couple’s version. It has its place in a library, even if it’s not top shelf stuff.
    12. Station Island, Seamus Heaney. This was a snap purchase at the friends of the Library bookstore.
    13. What’s Michael Fatcat Collection, Volume 2. It would be ridiculous not to complete the omnibus pairing.

    2023, Purchases

    1. (2020 uncheat) Mutts Sundays, Patrick McDonnell. With my daughter’s comics obsession I wanted her to read some Mutts to go with her Peanuts and Calvin and Hobbes.
    2. (2020 uncheat) Salt Fat Acid Heat, Samin Nosrat. An instant classic, I purchased it at the start of the quarantine (having previously read it at the library) but I haven’t referenced it a single time.
    3. (2020 uncheat) The Art of Fermentation, Sandor Ellix Katz. I read the a library copy during quarantine and wanted my own copy. I purchased it as part of a big Chelsea Green Publishing House sale, but haven’t referenced it either.
    4. (2022 uncheat) Godel Escher Bach, Douglas Hofstadter. One of my white whales in literature.
    5. (2022 uncheat) Nature’s Chaos, James Gleick and Elliot Porter. I own a small format soft cover, but I thought the photos require the full size hardcover to do them justice.
    6. Satoshi Kon’s Opus. I’m a huge fan of his movies, but there are only four of them (plus one anime). I read this manga on Libby and decided to get a copy. At some point I should check out his other work (also on Libby) even though I hate reading on the phone.
    7. World Atlas of Cheese, Nancy Eekhof-Stork. The excuse is that I bought it for the kids. But let’s be real, who loves cheese most around here?
    8. Boring Postcards, USA, Martin Parr. I liked my Christmas present so much I picked up the USA one. I hope I’ll like it as much as Plates + Dishes.
    9. The Illustrated I Ching, R. L. Wing. I came across it on Post.news and saw it has old paintings in it. Yeah why not.
    10. (not yet purchased but gonna happen on June 6, 2023) — Pearls Seeks Enlightenment. I always pick up these Stephan Pastis treasuries when they are published every ~18 months.

    Little Library Cheats

    I’m trying to create a little library of books that to re-read regularly, classics to revisit every year or two. For now, I’ll give myself a dispensation so these don’t count against my limit.

    1. Bhagavad Gita, Eknath Easwaran. I picked this up, based on a recommendation on a podcast. It’s fine. There are enough technical terms that I keep going to the glossary to see what’s being said. Maybe I’ll pick up another version in the future. That said, I don’t think I’ll be trying out Easwaran’s detailed 3 volume commentary.
    2. Analects of Confucius, D. K Lau. I picked up a copy at the end of the year as part of my little library. I’m halfway through this book, but I suspect I prefer Robert Eno‘s teaching translation and commentary.
    3. The Way of Chuang Tzu, Thomas Merton. I’ve hit a brick wall with the Burton Translation. I hope to finish it at some point, but for regular re-reading, I picked up the first version I read.
    4. The Wisdom of the Desert, Thomas Merton. Yeah, it’s an edited collection, but this library is all about excerpts that hits.
    5. Fail Safe Investing, Harry Browne. Yeah his Permanent Portfolio is quirky and you can take or leave his libertarian leanings. But this book describes a practical philosophy towards money that most resonates with the way I see the world. A quick read, highly recommended.
    6. Several short sentences about writing, Verlyn Klinkenborg. This is the most influential book I’ve read in years. Of course I bought it.
    7. Creativity, John Cleese. I borrowed the book on Libby and loved it. I plan on re-reading this regularly.
    8. (To be purchased) Mencius. After I read Robert Eno’s teaching translation, I might pick up a hardcopy of this book. A bound book has its own charms.
    9. (To be purchased) Wanderer’s Havamal, Jackson Crawford. Once I’ve read through the Chinese classics in my little library, I’ll buy a copy of this book.
    10. (To be purchased) Bed of Procrustes, Nicholas Nassim Taleb. Once I’ve made it through the ancient western portion of my little library I’ll pick up this book. I keep planning on buying it, and I think it’s about time.

    On Deck

    1. Journey to the West (unabridged, 4 volumes), Anthony C. Yu. I loved reading this on my ebook reader. Time to get a hardcopy.
    2. Tarot: How to Read the Future, Fred Gettings. I need to feed the beast with my new hobby. This one seems delightfully convoluted.
    3. 99 Variations on a Proof, Philip Ording. Intriguing concept to go with Matt Madden’s 99 Ways to Tell a Story and of course the original Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau.
    4. Narrow Road to the Deep North, Basho. I’ve been reading this on-and-off on Libby. If the later chapters grab me, I’ll pick up a copy.
    5. Wisdom Books, Robert Alter. I liked his translation with notes of these books in the old testament. If I re-read it again, I’ll pick up my own copy.
    6. The Masnavi, I found Rumi in 2022. At some point I should jump in, maybe after the sixth volume is published.
    7. The Odyssey, Robert Fagles. To pair with the copy of the Iliad we already own. But first, I gotta get some reading done.
    8. Seneca. Tech-bros have tarnished stoicism, but I keep thinking there must be something there. Maybe I’ll find something in Seneca?
    9. Lieh-Tzu. Speaking of random philosophers, I might as well throw in the third widely acclaimed foundational text of Taoism.
    10. Plato/Socrates. I presume one of their dialogs should end up in my little library. I have a collection of five dialogs at home. Once I read that, maybe I’ll dig something else.
    11. The Message of the Quran, Muhammad Asad. I finally got a recommendation for which translation to read, so I have no excuse to keep from jumping in.
    12. Calvin and Hobbes, complete box set. I have the first half of Bill Watterson’s run in trade paperback format. Maybe I’ll buy the whole thing in for Christmas.
    13. Same for the Gary Larsen’s Far Side Collection.
    14. Essays and Aphorisms, Arthur Schopenhauer. Maybe? I’m a sucker for aphorisms and famous philosophers.
    15. The Aphorisms of Franz Kafka. Maybe? I’m a sucker for aphorisms and famous writers.
    16. Be Here Now, Ram Dass. After reading the digital version, I’ll most likely buy a hardcopy since I think this was meant to be read physically.
    17. Tao: The Watercourse Way, Alan Watts. Sometimes I wanna get my 1960’s woo on.
    18. A History of Haiku (4 volumes), R. H. Blyth. I came across this while reading the Kerouac Haiku book. Maybe.

    Gulp! Lots of reading!

    As always, this is a good reminder why I must only buy one book at a time. Whenever I shoot past the immediate future, I end up with a great book buried in piles of other books that haven’t been read (yet?).


    After I wrote the initial draft of this mega-list in mid-2022, Libby stopped syncing across my iOS devices forcing me to reset the devices. I had multiple tagged items that weren’t synced, and the only way to rescue the tags were to export them and then manually re-tag them after fixing the glitch. This exercise highlighted how much my interests would drift in just a few months. All these tags carried the lingering aura of past desire, but I had lost interest in almost all of them.

    Given my fondness for organizing things, I followed up that exercise with sorting out my Amazon lists. These lists go back a decade, so this was reliving the past on steroids. I’m certain all the books I listed are worthy of my time, but I’ve finally accepted that I’ll never get around to reading any of them. I should just delete those entries, but I’m not yet mature enough to take that step.

    Even so, I’m keenly aware that time is not my friend. I need to come to grips with the fact that there are only about 432 books left in my lifetime (12 x 36).