GRIZZLY PEAR

written snapshots

Category: Life

  • Two Lists for Days 4 & 5 of my New Year!

    I’ve been in a consumerist mood lately so I thought I’d share a list of items where temptation was sparked on Post.

    Unless noted otherwise, the impetus came from one or another conversation on one of Aja Romano’s posts. (Which is odd, because I don’t practice reading cards, but I have to admit the art is a lot prettier than fifty sticks or three grungy coins!)

    Purchased

    • Tarot of the Divine, Yoshi Yoshitani
    • The Illustrated I Ching, R.L. Wing
    • World Atlas of Cheese, Nancy, Eekhof-Stork — (purchased after seeing someone’s Christmas present)

    If/When Reprints are Available

    • I AM THE ARTIST Tarot, Sakki-Sakki
    • Delta Enduring Tarot, Egan
    • Taro in Colour, Ithell Colquhoun — (seen on someone’s bookshelf in a Post)

    Things that I’ve created “triggered gratification”

    • 99 Variations on a Proof, Phillip Ording — (early Post recommendation) — Re-read Exercises in Style, Raymond Queneau
    • Wanderer’s Havamal — (not due to Post, but I’ve wanted a physical copy for a while) — Run through my Chinese Classics (Tao Te Ching, Art of War, Analects)
    • Visconti Tarots Deck, Bonifacio Bembo — (the deck in the Castle of Crossed Destinies) — Read Will Buckingham’s Sixty-Four Chance Pieces
    • Tarot de Marseilles, Grimaud — Read Fred Getting’s book on the Tarot

    ~

    I’ve also been adding way too much to my ambitious stew of new projects in the New Year.

    I wrote it all down in one big list to force myself about getting real for 2023. I think the cutoff will be around item 10, especially since I always assume there will be some surprises in store next year.

    1. Daily Exercise for mental health.
    2. Clean up my diet to lose weight for lowering my blood pressure.
    3. Continue my Penny Delights, #dailywriting #microblog
    4. Keep up with my Notes on my Consumption, #microessay
    5. Finish my ASL Hand #Sketch project (and find something else to keep up the practice — do it again with shading?)
    6. March through my little wisdom library (two year rotation)
    7. Home admin paperwork. Not fun, but needs to be done.
    8. The pile of books currently next to my bed
    9. #WeekendWeirdness with the kids
    10. Have fun with my archives for #SundayShare
    11. Initiate a new drawing project “an ignoramus appropriates the Tarot”
    12. Push out the backlog of blog drafts from the past three years.
    13. Keep up with the #Texture photos
    14. Find a good short book by Rumi to add to my little wisdom library.
    15. Survey the Stoics and decide if I want to pursue further
    16. A few Eastern Classics that have been “on my list”
      • Mencius
      • Lieh Tzu
      • Basho’s Travels
    17. Reread the Journey to the West
    18. Add Alt Text to all images in my blog archives
    19. #MondayNightMusic Video Posts
    20. Start a series of #BoringArchitecture photos
    21. Continue “a novice reads the I Ching”
    22. White whales in my literary history
      • The Art of the Personal Essay (reader)
      • Ovid’s Metamorphoses
      • Godel Escher Bach
      • The Romance of the Three Kingdoms
      • Odyssey
      • Masnavi
      • The Water Margin
      • Walden
      • Moby Dick
      • Iliad
      • Italo Calvino’s Ouvre
      • Haruki Murakami’s Ouvre
      • The Beat Reader
      • The Order of Things
    23. Initiate regular Banjo practice
    24. Get back into Kung Fu (I’ve given up on learning the Guang Dao)

  • Day 3 of the New Year — finding pieces of myself at 1.0x speed.

    My back was good enough (barely) to go to the park with the kids.

    Before getting back into the car* I swung my arms around and discovered back muscles that I didn’t know existed.

    Is this the #silverlining of #backpain?

    * My wife was driving, there’s no way I would operate a vehicle outside of a dire emergency.

    Oh and I survived my first day of living at 1.0x speed.

    If it’s not worth 1.0x speed, it’s not worth it.

    Maybe this will be rule #5.

    Is there a hidden cost of trying to fit everything in? I can’t to remember anything from audiobooks that I “read” at 1.5x speed. Let’s not talk about YouTube.

    Such an approach would force me to be pickier about my information consumption.

    I also wonder if listening to things at high speed is grooving bad hidden psychological habits.

  • Day 2 of the New Year.

    My lower-back!

    I crawled out of bed and across the room.
    Tried to stretch it out.
    Definitely not exercising today.
    Watched YouTube videos to distract from the pain.
    (Breaking two of my five rules on the second day!)

    No clue what happened.
    A twinge showed up yesterday.
    No cause, no incident.
    Nothing stupid — not even negligent inactivity.

    The mid-40’s hath bestowed a mystery ailment upon mine body!

    Now what?

    ䷽䷧

    in small
    perseverance furthers

    extreme care
    might avoid
    misfortune

    deliverance
    advantage through inaction
    or fortune with quick action

    which path?
    something? nothing?
    how do I determine
    Habara gani?
    Kujichagulia

  • 5 rules for the New Year

    starting today, ending tomorrow?

    1. Exercise first!
    2. No YouTube until the four dailies are done (Write, Sketch, Photo, Read)
    3. Play with the kids when they ask me to join them.
    4. No snacks until down to a proper weight.

  • Happy Holidays! 2022!

    Here’s the holiday greeting I sent to colleagues this afternoon. This was built as a stage for a local mental health facility. It’s now a mechanical room and the outdoor seating area has been fenced-in as a yard for the chiller.

    That said, I’m fond of this alternative. I tried to convince my wife to let me send this version. However, we decided to keep playing it safe. As a government employee, there is no downside in being slightly boring and zero upside in taking any aesthetic risk.

    I hope you are enjoying the end of this year, and all the best for the new one!

    Justus

  • Building 1300

    Our home renovation was the first project under my stamp. The second was this renovation at Building 1300.

    It was built as a residential center the disabled. Fifty years later, it’s an administrative building. We removed two kitchens, freeing up space to become an indoor exercise activity space for the clients and a training room for the staff.

    In school, we design majestic pretend structures. Sometimes we get to participate in marquee IRL projects — my wife worked on curtain wall details for an addition to an iconic museum and I’ve played a part on three university building projects.

    But really, Architecture is a mundane practice.

    We make incremental improvements to what’s around us. We get paid to make the world a little better.

    Four years ago, I left private practice to become an Owner’s Project Manager for the State of Nevada.

    I’m the ultimate middleman — I don’t deliver nothing. The Architect designs the project. The Contractor builds it. The Agency uses the facility to serve the public.

    I just shepherd the team to deliver the project on time and on budget, hopefully at an optimal quality.

    My tasks are unremarkable. Calculate estimates. Send emails. Meetings and phone calls. Double check drawings and dollar signs. I shuttle documents around our bureaucracy.

    My position is five steps below the Governor on the org-chart, but it’s blessedly free from politics. The Citizens elect our Politicians. They determine our directives. The Division gets it done.

    But nothing happens without people.

    My big paradigm shift after taking this job was realizing that work is all about relationships. As a professional architect, I delivered tangible documents. Now, my only unique skill is familiarity with the government bureaucracy.

    I’m here to balance the conflicting demands on a project, negotiate the cross incentives within the team, and chart a path through the process.

    It’s not always daisies. On Friday night, I dropped the velvet hammer on a flooring manufacturer for delaying another project. It’s my duty to be fair and firm as a steward of taxpayer dollars.

    I grasp the checkbook, but I work for those who do the real work. Construction isn’t easy, but I hope to make it satisfying. I try to conduct myself with honor and enable each team member to to do their best. I care about each of us, in our roles and as individuals.

    This is our work. Let’s make the most of this precious opportunity.

    Maybe even walk out with a smile.

    This Kitchen Demolition project did not go smoothly. It started as an extensive renovation with a consultant architect, but the agency suddenly realized that the funding was about to expire.

    With that nasty deadline, I could only deconstruct. I slammed demolition drawings on AutoCAD LT and pushed it out to bid. The contract was approved, signed by all parties.

    Then COVID hit.

    The Capitol feared we were at the precipice of a depression and killed this little project. (Of course, the cancellation dragged out amidst the pandemic confusion, leaving the contractor in limbo for more than a month.)

    By Spring 2021, the looming depression became an economic rebound. The Agency revived the project.

    The Contractor held their bid, we waded through a swamp of paperwork, moved the cash into the right budget account, and those kitchens disappeared!

    We celebrated with a twelve pack of Dr. Peppers.

    Construction is only straightforward after it’s done. Every project suffers its twists and turns.

    We can plan, but only so much. When chaos hits, the universe forces us to negotiate. If we choose to collaborate, these frustrations can cultivate relationships beyond mere project roles.

    June came and went this year. The twelve month warranty expired — the only part of our job without hiccups.

    Wednesday morning, I returned a missed call.

    His voice quivered.

    Tracey passed away.
    I thought you should know.
    She really enjoyed working with you.

    ䷨䷆

    one small project
    client and contractor
    respect
    notice beyond this vale
    greatest honor of my career

  • How shall we consider the election today?

    novice reads the I Ching

    19:1,3 to 46

    In reading classic texts, one should be wary of the context. These are invariably Imperial documents. They were written by men in power to influence men with even more power. Literacy was an ultimate privilege.

    Reading them is a balancing act. Books that survived the ages must have provided great value to their readers. But we shouldn’t uncritically marinate in their archaic values.

    Then again, questioning paradigms is the point of divination. This is a tool to help us surface our self-imposed unconsciousness.

    So let’s ask the oracle of ancient kings concerning this day of democracy.

    ~

    19. The Approach 臨
    ䷒ (earth above a lake)
    Success approaches by obtaining the trust of others. Be boundless in teaching. Lead by patient persuasion. Share the truth. But growth may be short-lived, calamity might be around the corner.

    Changing Line 3
    Complacency in the approach will result in stagnation. However, doom is not predestined. Remorse against comfort and vigilance against ignorance will protect from harm.

    46. Pushing Upward 升
    ䷭ (earth above the wood)
    Like a tree pushes upward through the earth, greatness will rise. Rooted in good character and heaping small efforts. This accumulation can climb high. Practice devotion to continual progress.

    ~

    Success is near, so is calamity.
    Don’t get comfortable, continual refinement.
    The constant pressure of little victories leads to great progress.

  • 2nd shot, 2021

    I wrote this last year, but like many posts, it sat in the hopper for a while. At this point my daughter has gotten her second shot and we’re just waiting for the under -5 vax to come out for our boy. Unlike other posts, I’m editing this very lightly.

    I’ve been lucky.

    I won the birthplace lottery and everything has played out pretty smoothly from there. As a government worker, I was slated for an early tier relative to other healthy adults. While standing in line for my second shot, I listened to the Michael Osterholm COVID-19 podcast update for the week.

    The problem in America is not supply, it’s demand. That’s why so many states are opening up vaccines for all adults. The people who need it most have had plenty of opportunities to get it.

    Meanwhile, the rest of the world, especially the less developed nations, haven’t even started their vaccination programs. Dr. Osterholm framed the issue as both a humanitarian and strategic problem. If we don’t get the rest of the world vaccinated, we’re gonna keep getting new variants that keep working their way back to the States.

    There are a plenty of internal and external issues with the American Hegemony. It is not all roses to be a citizen of this singular superpower (I’m certain an ancient Roman could relate).

    Maybe “too much” is one of our problems.

    That’s an awfully nice problem to have.

    While we strive to form a more perfect union, we ought to occasionally pause and be grateful for the easily overlooked perks of being American.

  • a Dream of Cafe, March 2021

    Two years ago, our daughter went to school for the last time.

    It took a year after that before I dreamt about going out without guilt.

    Kind of.

    I still felt shame for hanging out at the coffee shop in the morning – because I suddenly realized that I missed an 8:00-8:30 meeting with a consultant.

    What kind of crazy person sets up a meeting at 8 in the morning!?

    (Aside from a contractor…but that kind of proves my point).

    I didn’t think about the COVID during the dream. I only thought of the pandemic when I woke up and realized that I didn’t dream about it.

    In the year since I still haven’t gone out much. We’ve been waiting for the kids to get their shots. Our daughter finally got her second shot, but kids under five are still waiting.

    Driving a car is an apt analogy. Compared to sitting around the house, it is a relatively dangerous activity, but it confers great benefits. We’re gonna wait another half year till our boy can get his own seatbelt.

    Then I’ll get my espresso.

    And totally blow off that 8 AM appointment.

  • Happy Holidays! 2021!

    Here’s the holiday greeting I’ll be emailing out to colleagues later today. The background comes from a partially ground concrete slab where the work was stopped under the future carpet finish.

    That said, I’m fond of this alternative draft, which inadvertently happened as I was trying to pick out my font. However, as a staid representative of the State, I decided to play it safe in a mass email related to work.

    Either way, I hope you are enjoying the end of this year, and all the best for the new one!

    Justus