GRIZZLY PEAR

written snapshots

Category: Life

  • A good run for a year

    One year ago, after some prodding from Seth Godin, I started a “daily” blog. Ultimately I wrote about four days out of seven, making up the missing day with various binges of multiple posts.

    After a month, I decided to reassess every solar event, and upon one full trip around the sun, at the autumnal equinox, I decided to call off the experiment.

    It has been an enjoyable run, a nice written record of my first year as a public architect, and of the first year of life with the boy. However, continuing this blog just isn’t worth the effort entails.

    With two little kids, the biggest issue is a lack of time. As have been noted multiple times, I have a habit of waking up early, and this is the only alone time I have outside of the office.

    This blog is a good use of such time, far better than my usual demon of surfing the web, but I have become increasingly aware of how little exercise I do.

    Over the past year, I’ve learnt that I only get one priority every morning, and with a regular blog it means I sit down in front of the computer as the first and often only thing. That just isn’t physically sustainable since I am not getting my exercise in later in the day.

    Before I sign off of regular blogging, I pulled up an old post I wrote two weeks into the experiment but never published. It still encapsulates what I hope to get out of the exercise, but sadly, I don’t think the potential gains were realized. My writing has improved slightly (albeit at a much slower rate for than at the start), but I’m still always fighting the demon of Facebook and I’m not sure I’m getting any better at thinking than before. I have some nice slice of life observations which is nice to have on record on my own platform, but I never really got around to doing much with web publishing.

    Now that it has been a couple weeks into my newfound hobby, I thought I’d do a quick assessment on the few things I think I’m getting out of messing around with this blog for an hour every morning.

    The most obvious thing is that I am getting better at writing.  I guess that should be obvious, especially I am at the start of the cheap and easy steep part of the learning curve, but the payoff of this increase is not to be seen on this blog.  It is found in my work emails.  I find myself typing up those memos faster and editing them better. Unlike these blog posts, where I’ve been saving a draft and then polishing and posting the second day, these things have to be written and sent at a moment’s notice.  And the leisurely practice here is definitely helping in those pressure moments there.

    To make time for blogging, I have indeed drastically cut down on my Facebook time.  The main way I’ve accomplished this is by very rarely actually typing anything on that website.  Aside from being the product on that platform (each of my keystroke is ends up in for Zuck’s bank account), I’ve become disappointed in how few deep conversations really get started on that platform.  When I type out something deep, I usually find that I waste a ton of time refreshing the FB page and in the hopes getting the rare thoughtful response back.  It just isn’t a good ROI on my time.  Furthermore given how ephemeral and unsearchable any single comment is in that universe, I am convinced that it is much better to just spit in the wind by myself to my self here instead.

    The main goal of why I started the blog is to think better.  And I believe that is also happening.  Partly because I have gotten off of the worst of the FB hamster wheel, but also because I’m now having to publish every day, I now have more brain space to just ponder.  This blog is currently unfocused, and I suspect it will stay this way for a while, but having to produce (even for my current audience of one) does sharpen the mind for the task at hand.

    And finally, I get to poke under the hood of how the internet works.  I just signed up with mailchimp and added a facebook page. I’m not sure if I’ll do any real campaigns, but it is interesting to experience “social” from the other side of the looking glass.

    I had tried to do a regular blog six years ago with a focus on the industry.  As such I felt pressure to produce at a respectable level of quality, which resulted in the attempt fizzling out in a month or so.  Now with this government gig, I essentially have tenure as long as I don’t screw things up.  So we’ll see if this run can last as long as that previous month long run, but so far so good, two weeks in and I still enjoy waking up every morning and typing away.

    I won’t lie, if a following had developed over the past year, maybe I would have kept it up longer. Everyone has an ego, and I’m a sucker for an audience, but it never materialized and most likely its for the better. One of the recurring themes from this past year is that life is a series of tradeoffs and along with physical exercise there is a good amount of bookkeeping that I have been neglecting.

    So here’s to healthier habits and getting organized, and I’ll be around only occasionally.

  • Meditate?

    I know its been the hot thing for the last couple years now.

    But lately I’ve been waking up at four am with my mind spinning about life or work.

    Nothing particularly dark, but just revved up and ready to go.

    It wouldn’t be that big of a problem if the rest of the family was ready to sleep at 2030 so we could all live on the same daily cycle.

    But we don’t. And it is not good to be to be so out of sync with everybody else.

    Maybe it’s time to whip out the mediation book I read a long time ago and get it on.

    Or maybe rock some Tai Chi!

    Yeah, something like that.

  • Discontent in the internet age

    On the one hand we have so much media available to us in all forms, and yet there is a lot of noticeable discontent about the state of media today.

    We have the entire world at our fingertips, which means we also have all the discontent within earshot.

    It isn’t that discontented people should pipe down, but that we should occasionally take stock of what we do have.

    Growing up in a pre digital age, our options were much more limited. But we also didn’t hear about the erasure that such limited options implied.

    Things are looking better, even if it doesn’t sound that way.

    But please do look, the passive algorithm is quite a concern.

  • torrent of information

    I woke up to write a blog post.

    But then got sidetracked…and sidetracked…and sidetracked.

    Fifteen minutes later, a crying baby snapped me out of this “reverie”.

    It’s an odd world we live in. All the info at our fingertips.

    But brains that aren’t very good at discerning what’s fit to read.

  • Survivor Bias

    In any endeavor, the folks that go all in for an extended period will say it is super duper awesome.

    The quitters just anonymously disappear.

    So while it’s worth hearing out the fervent adherents, it doesn’t hurt to look for the silent majority that found better things to do.

    Sometimes grit is the answer. Sometimes moving on is better.

  • Visit from the sister (games!)

    My sister and brother-in-law visited Vegas this week so it gave me a chance to play some games between chasing the kids around.

    Innovation (twice)
    Circus Flohcati
    Aton
    No Thanks (twice)
    Times Square

    When you have a limited time budget, it’s interesting what came out to be played.

    I’ve always acclaimed Carl Chudyk, the designer of Innovation, as a “minor deity”. And this assessment hasn’t changed. His ability to have a completely chaotic game result in a memorable gameplay experience, is really something to behold.

    As for the other games, Aton and Times Square are both excellent, albeit slightly 2 player fussy games.  Aron is a gridded area control game and Times Square is a linear tug of war, but both games have multiple levers to push and pull constrained by the card draw making for great 2 player experiences.

    It was also a lot of fun to introduce No Thanks and Circus Flohcati to my sister and brother in law. Just fun light fillers, easy to teach but with meaningful decisions.  Both well designed games, also by Thorsten Gimmler and Reiner Knizia respectively. My daughter even joined in for No Thanks and enjoyed it well enough.

    Interestingly, all of them were card games, as were almost all the other games I would have thought to pull out. Amongst the board-dice-cards categorizations, I definitely lean towards cards.

    But honestly, my daughter had the most fun of all when we played hide and seek in the house.

  • The interpretive lens

    “Let me be clear, I am Muslim not because I think Islam is ‘truer’ than other religions (it isn’t), but because Islam provides me with the ‘language’ I feel most comfortable with in expressing my faith. It provides me with certain symbols and metaphors for thinking about God that I find useful in making sense of the universe and my place in it.”

    Reza Aslan

    This quote encapsulates some of what I’ve been thinking about lately. I no longer identify as Christian but I’m not anti-religious either. I don’t practice the religion but I see enough good people practicing it in its multiplicity of forms to respect that it does good in this world.

    In this middle state I’m realizing that my years in church as a youth is baked into my mental DNA. One good thing about growing up a hardcore fundamentalist is that it’s almost impossible to slip a biblical reference past me that I wouldn’t catch.

    However, I’m coming to a nascent theory that every religion has two “books”, the texts that are held up as sacred and the interpretive lens that is used to read these sacred texts. I’ve shed the Calvinist Reformed Baptist lens years ago, even though I’m still deconstructing some lingering subconscious moods and stereotypes.

    But I’m also starting to realize coming that I most likely won’t ever be not-Christian. It’s not that I intend to return to church or participate in its rituals, and I’ve definitely shed the interpretive lens of one radical sect within the religion, but this constant reading of the Bible for my first twenty years means that this book is still a major part of how I see the world. A few months ago I read the Daodejing and Zhuangzi but I couldn’t shake the feeling I was still approaching it from a Christian perspective.

    I’ve heard there is a Jesuit saying “give me a child till he is seven and we’ll have him for life.” Maybe that makes me one of those despised “nominal Christians” from the pulpits of my youth, but here I am.

  • Trapped in paradise

    My in-laws have a peach tree in their back yards, and to keep the birds from eating all the peaches, they wrap it in a net.

    The net got compromised and three birds ended up dying in the summer heat before we realized what was happening.

    There are many colloquialisms for what just happened.

    But mainly it’s sad.

    And a warning to the rest of us about life in general.

  • Topsy Turvy

    We recently picked up a rotating compost bin and I’ve been depositing the goods every morning.

    Our local ants have discovered this new treasure trove in the backyard.

    I wonder what they are thinking when everything goes spinning around for ninety seconds before settling back into normal until the next morning.

  • Christmas shopping in August

    Summer does not feel like the right time to shop for Christmas, but August is only a few months away from the holidays.

    Aside from picking stuff up from sales, my main christmas presents are boardgames and books.

    Books are a dime a dozen (actually 50 cents a pop at the local library) so I got plenty of those ready for the holidays, but we do have limited shelf space so I need to be careful with my game purchases.

    It seems that I need to do a purge of my wishlist on boardgamegeek, but more importantly, I need to rank my games by age, so I can buy the appropriate games at the right time.

    That is still easy while the kids are young, but once they hit the 10+ range, the whole world of gaming opens up to them. At that time, I just need to be judicious.

    Not an easy thing in this hobby.

    Or maybe it will be easier because honestly, my whole collection is geared to big kids, so I really don’t have to buy anything at that point.

    Then again, I don’t “have to” anything at this point either.