GRIZZLY PEAR
I wasted last night playing Sid Meier’s original Civilizaation.
To atone for staying up way too late, I wrote a blog post about my love of that game, but I then got replaying Acrtivision’s Deathtrack, my other favorite video game of my childhood. How did thirty years disappear so quickly?
It is super cool to have these old games back available to play on the internet now, but one must exercise some self control in the face of such temptations.
In other words, it’s the internet folks!
I visited my office yesterday, meeting some coworkers for the first time in a couple of years. It was a fun reunion.
However, the drive there and back reminded me why I much prefer WFH.
Borges and Bioy Casares put together an anthology of short extraordinary tales (Cuentos breves y estraordinarios, 1955). I would like to edit a collection of tales consisting of one sentence only, or even a single line. But so far I haven’t fond any to match the one by Guatamalan writer Augusto Monterroso: “Cuando despertó, el dinosauro todavía, estaba allí”.
“Quickness”, Six Memos for the Next Millenium, Italo Calvino, 1985
When I woke up , the dinosaur was still there.
Augusto Monterroso
Last year, the kids invented a game. They would crouch behind a half-deflated yoga ball while I tried to land a couple of mini-frisbees on top of their heads from across the room.
The boy calls it 妖怪 游戏 (Yāoguài Yóuxì).
Ghost Game. (More accurately translated “monster” game but we like the English alliteration).
The four-inch frisbees were cheap party favors. One was from Peter Piper Pizza, a birthday party at a pizzeria arcade with one of our first friends in Las Vegas; it’s translucent red with white printed texts. The other was from a birthday party at the skating rink with our daughter’s first friend in kindergarten; it’s black with an NHL logo.
Two plastic mementos from a life before the world was turned upside down. Beyond memories, they also represent the birthday parties that we’ve missed these past two years. Globally speaking a small loss, but it still stings a little.
Fortunately, the kids have grown up to give each other company. Like the sock and buskin, they constantly alternate between laughing and fighting. Time keeps pressing forward, with moments outside replaced by moments inside.
And occasionally, a red and black plastic disc will spontaneously create a strangely named game.
On a brighter note, our daughter just got her second shot the other day. Now it’s the boy’s turn, whenever it becomes available. It has been a long wait, but there is light at the end of this tunnel.
I went to the dermatologist who removed a mole on my leg for a biopsy. It was strange to watch a small piece of myself being slowly detached from my body.
My guy was just a friendly nurse practitioner. But I now understand why a surgeons are stereotyped to have big egos. Cutting into another human must be the most powerful manifestation of god-hood in this modern world. It must be intoxicating to be the one holding the scapel.
I’ve started playing around with one-sentence stories. I’ll push it through the end of the month and reassess from there. Who knows where this experiment might lead (most likely nowhere), but this is what grizzlypear is for.
Hope you also had a good breakfast this morning.
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One big perk of this job is the privilege of awarding someone a project. Beyond the personal ego, there is excitement on both sides of the phone call. It’s exciting to create teams and the prospect of a fresh project is intoxicating.
Even more so for the big projects. Technically, I don’t announce the information – that comes from the Administrator when he emails the competing firms who interviewed for the project. But a bloodless email is an inauspicious way to start a journey, so I follow up as quickly as possible with a personal phone call.
This year, I had the privilege of making two calls, one to a contractor who won a fellow PM’s project and to the contractor who won my main project for the next four years.
On the first call, it was exciting to reminisce about what went well on our previous project and wish him all the best with my colleague. And then I followed it up with the next call to discuss the next steps on my own project with the new contractor.
A great way to close out a Friday evening.
Except.
In the middle of the second call, I received a text. One of our administrative staff lost their spouse after a long fight at the hospital, right as their health seemed to turn for the better.
It was a crushing reminder amidst the adrenaline that life is much more than the games we play at work.
The real world always has the final say.
~
How do you keep rooted?
Hit reply and let’s chat.
~
Zen Pencils illustrates a great quote by Jack Kirby about learning from the past and then sitting down to do the work.
… and a photo.
~
Thanks for reading the OPM letter! I’d love to have a conversation if you have any feedback. I hope you found some prompts to stretch your craft and relationships as a curious Owner PM. See you soon!
Justus Pang, RA
Hinduism was the last of the great religions that I knew nothing about.
I was raised Christian, which rhymes with the Abrahamic religions, aided by listening to a couple of books about Judaism and Islam. I’ve also dabbled with eastern philosophy over the past decade. My forays with Tai Chi have led to reading Daoist, Buddhist, and Confucian texts. I’ve enjoyed those readings, though I reject all of their elaborate heavenly cosmologies.
Twelve hours is a long period of time and a vanishingly short time limit to survey a great religion. Not knowing any better, I would this course did its job. It provided a rough overview of the religion, addressed some of its excesses, and provided some avenues for further exploration. It covered a wide variety of topics and dispelled the foreign exoticness of Hinduism. This course shows that all of us are trying to take care of ourselves and our own while feeling some sense of fulfillment.
It is not easy for an atheist raised as a monotheist to relate to a polytheistic worldview. However, this course makes such a mindset more understandable. I don’t agree with the tenets that have created a rigid caste system, but I have a better sense of the overall system as a coherent whole.
As a materialist, I reject the intricate cosmologies from all of the world’s great religions. However, raw materialism is thin gruel as a life philosophy – the 20th century created some terrible cults after rejecting the old ones. At least the great religions have stood the test of time, so a seeker might be well served by following one of those schools of thought.
I’m not endorsing it, but if Indian polytheism floats your boat, this course seems like a reasonable start for such a journey.
After writing the initial draft, I read a few translations of the Bhagavad Gita, which is an epic poem – in both the classic and modern sense of the term. Highly recommended.
Everyone should read the Gita.
But for the year after that, I never got around to reading the Vedas and Upanishads. One day, I’d love to dig into these texts as well, but I have too many other books in my backlog.
Another former intern just found a new job.
And a lot of other folks too.
My crowd isn’t wealthy, so resignation isn’t an option.
But the Great Reshuffle is in full effect.
Good on them.
For everyone looking, I hope they find something different.
Maybe they’ll like it. Maybe they won’t.
You won’t know until you do.
If you think its time for a change, then a change is long overdue.
Get out of the comfort zone.
Life is too short to be comfortably miserable.
As the year of the Ox transitions into the year of the Tiger, my bread has settled into another steady state. So here’s worth another update.
As for the past couple of years, I’m happily using the cast iron loaf pan, which gives a nice crust all around. Towards the end of 2021, I tried cooking two loaves at a time, but our stainless steel loaf pan doesn’t pop out the bread nearly so easily.
My recent return to the basics has continued to bear fruit with consistent success, even though the process takes a little more time.
I start by refreshing the starter. Mix 20g starter, 20g flour, 20g water and let it sit all day until happy and bubbly. Repeat again if the original starter is looking grouchy.
On to the main dough!
60g starter (previously mixed)
(a ratio of 20:80:100:2)
240g water
300g flour (currently organic brand from Costco)
6g salt
As always, I mix the first three ingredients to autolyze for half an hour and add the salt before the first fold.
Lately, I’ve started adding 40g of raisins (non-soaked). It adds a sweet tartness and makes for an out-of-this-world butter toast.
My baking tends to settle into a steady-state before something comes out of the blue to mess it all up (again). But at some point, things must finally settle down, right? Maybe this is the apotheosis of my sourdough baking?
I guess I just have to wait (and bake) to find out.
Three nights ago, I had a dream where I conducted a performance art piece airbrushing a continuous line throughout two rooms in a coffee shop. It was a strangely emotional dream as a crumpled to the floor at the end of the performance.
Two nights ago, I dreamed about ordering an espresso at a coffee shop. I was worried about how the caffeine might affect me (I haven’t had any since the pandemic started), and I contemplated whether I should wait till March because I could then claim that I had gone a full two years of eating only homemade (or frozen) means prepared by family members.
Last night, I dreamt about taxing a B-1 bomber around time trying to find the tarmac so we could take off.
I wonder if logging the dreams on this blog post is making me more likely to remember them. Is the vividness of the dreams related to a practice of recording them?
The brain is weird. Worry not, these footnotes have nothing to do with bread.