Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself.
I came across this quote during the pandemic. I immediately put it at the top of my personal core values document.
Naturally, I was eager to read the entire book, but the library does not have a copy. Fortunately, I found a free loaner at archive.org.
The book is great.
Admittedly, its appeal is limited to the already persuaded. But if you are sympathetic to woo eastern philosophy and a permissive parental style, this book is for you.
Parenting is stressful at times, worrying at others. Especially during a pandemic when all choices are lackluster (at best). One is haunted by a nagging sense of opportunity cost as the kids lose years of their childhood, trapped at home.
This book is a salve for such concerns. The basic message is to take your foot off the gas. Let the kids grow up and grow up with them.
It is also an insightful approach towards the Tao De Ching. In the past, I’ve had difficulty reading through the original. It’s heavy dense stuff that is purposely impenetrable to the uninitiated.
This parenting version focuses only upon this facet of humanity, making it much easier to read. I’ve read the original enough to feel comfortable claiming that this version reflects the spirit of Laozi. Indeed, it can be a lens to help you navigate the original work.
Of course, this book is watered down compared to the original. But if it resonates, what more do you want?
While writing my first draft, I had every intention to purchase my own copy. Since then my ardor has cooled. This is no fault of this book; I’m buried in too many great books and classics! As I read more, the backlog increases.
One day I’ll figure out how to control my reading appetite. Maybe I’ll pick up this book then.
Even so, this book is highly recommended. Plus you should check out William Martin’s blog; he posts regularly.